ALLIA (A life lived in Acronyms)

As I sat in a particularly dull lecture on self harm I got to thinking about how much we depend on shortcuts to get us through the day. The medical community is particularly fond of these as its quick plus its coded just to confuse patients even further. Quite often after discussing my day at the hosiptal with my housemates, there would be a dozen acronyms to clarify so they could understand what on earth I was jabbering about.

Here at MSX we learn things by PBL, CS, SSU's, SSl's, CPC's and SG. They test us using ISCE's, CC's and AMK. When patients are admitted we do their BP, assess their GCS, FBC, LFT's,TFT's and least we forget assess their ABC. What medications are they on perphaps a SSRI, GTN or OCP. Thats before the diagnosis; have they had an MI, do they have MS, have they got Ca, is their AAA about to burst or maybe just some D&V. Still not decided well its time for more tests, be it a CT, MRI, AUSS, CXR, KUB or an ECG. Diagnosis made its time for treatment is it to be a CABG, ERCP, POP or simply a trip to OPD. Then theres the ones they dont teach you in medical school GOK and NFX.

Its a surprise we don't talk in acronyms when talking about going for a walk, what we did at the weekend or the current events.

Heres the decoding if you feel like learning!
Here at Medical School X (most schools have a code they use) we learn things by Problem Based Learning, Clinical Skills, Special Study Units's, Structured Supported learning, Clinical Pathological Conference's and Small Group. They test us using Integrated Structured Clinical Exam's, Clinical Competencies's and Applied Medical Knowledge. When patients are admitted we do their Blood Pressure, assess their Glasgow Coma Scale, Full Blood Count, Liver function test's,Thyroid Function Tests's and least we forget assess their Airway, Breathing, Circulation. What medications are they on perphaps a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor, Glyceryl TriNitrate or Oral Contraceptive Pill. Thats before the diagnosis; have they had an Myocardial Infarction, do they have Multiple Sclerosis, have they got Cancer, is their Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm about to burst or maybe just some Diarrhoea & Vomiting. Still not decided well its time for more tests, be it a Computerised Tomography scan, Magnetic resonance Imaging, Abdominal UltraSound Scan, Chest XRay, Kidneys,Urethra and Bladder or an ElectroCardioGram. Diagnosis made its time for treatment is it to be a Coronary Artery Bypass Graft, Endoscopic Retrograde CholangioPancreatography, Plaster Of Paris or simply a trip to Out Patients Department. Then theres the ones they dont teach you in medical school God Only Knows and Normal For X (x stands for a place most often heard as normal for cornwall).